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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Finally, I get to my buddy. He’s standing there looking all helpless. I can’t help but laugh. “Dude, you look like a lost puppy!” He rolls his eyes. We wait for the tow truck, and I’m just thinking about how crazy this day has been.

Recycling changes: 'It takes a while for the public to catch on'